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Showing posts from April, 2022

Wounded Healers

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I recently had the opportunity to attend a good friend's wedding where a freelance poet sat contemplatively in the corner with his typewriter, ready to write poems "on demand." Intrigued by his abilities to speedily create a poem, I sat down and he asked me to give him a topic. Thinking of my current experience in Honduras, I told him, "global health." He then asked me for one thing in my life that had recently been healed, and I said, "a friendship." In an act of introspective determination, he closed his eyes, paused only for a brief moment to collect what seemed like an endless number of ideas, and began typing seamlessly as if the words he were about to put on paper had already been made known to him. Just under a minute later, he tore the small sheet of paper from the typewriter and handed me a poem that read: where do doctors heal? can a doctor heal? within the tough pills swallowed, i wonder how this doctor found the cure to become a better pers

Even Death Bears Fruit

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"The death of the Beloved bears fruit in many lives. You and I have to trust that our short little lives can bear fruit far beyond the boundaries of our chronologies. But we have to choose this and trust deeply that we have a spirit to send that will bring joy, peace, and life to those who will remember us." ~ Father Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved It was just another normal day in clinic. One routine prenatal visit after another- confirming due dates, checking blood pressures, measuring fundal heights, listening to fetal heart beats, deciphering for parents whether boy or girl on ultrasound, and counseling mothers on signs and symptoms of labor. And then, in the midst of routine came the unexpected. In the most unsettling way, the safety of routine often blinds us to the danger of the unexpected, hitting us at once and without warning... *** It's the moment that every mother fears and the moment every obstetric provider dreads. That moment when two heartbeats coll

Fifty-Fifty

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"Only trust in God can transform  doubts into certainty,  evil into good,  night into radiant dawn." ~ Pope Francis Some weeks are more difficult than others, and after more than three months here, it seems I have been here just long enough to get a glimpse of the best weeks come to fruition, the worst weeks come to pass, and the variable weeks in between. This past week was one of those worse weeks- a culmination of sick patients, insecurity in my abilities as a physician, frustration with my lack of knowledge and the hospital's lack of resources, and an apprehensive but absolutely necessary trust in the Lord. *** I'm enjoying a nice day off when I receive a call that I am needed at the hospital. The world just welcomed a sick newborn rapidly delivered by C-section after a failed attempt at vaginal delivery and significant drops in the baby's heart rate just before being born. After a quick process of deduction amongst a group of a visiting obstetrician, an anest

The Eye is Never Satisfied

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It is ten o'clock at night after a long Friday on-call. After a full clinic schedule and multiple Emergency Room visits, I find myself lounging in the reclining chair next to the nurses' desk. There is something lulling about the metronomic fetal heartbeat bounding from the labor room down the hallway, but I can't fall asleep quite yet. Besides, the intermittent cries and screams from the mother are also predictable and enough to prevent me from falling asleep. A woman is about to give birth to her first child, and it's taking longer than we all had expected. It takes every ounce of my energy to keep my eyes open as they desperately try to surrender to my body's natural need for sleep. I find myself reading the hospital's vision and mission statements posted on the wall in front of me to help the time pass by... "The vision of Loma de Luz is one of a diverse community of Christian believers cooperating to provide medical care and a constant, present, on-goi